Wouldn't it be luverly? A world without snarling and snarking, griping and gossiping? Even a world without pity parties?
The pastor of some church in Kansas City, Missouri (I think it's the one with the moon-sized Smiley hanging from the steeple) has decided that's exactly the kind of world he wants to live in. So he's brainwashed--uh, I mean persuaded his whole congregation to wear "complaint-free" spiked handcuffs--uh, I mean bracelets that are supposed to remind their gnarly asses to put on a happy face 24/7 . . . and an attitude to go with it.
Now, think about this bandwagon of psycho-emotional repression before you decide to jump on it (as thousands of people around the globe are doing, via an appalling--uh, astonishing effort to proselytize--uh, spread the good word). Just look at the past week of your life. Did any person or occurrence displease you . . . or royally piss you off? Did you feel an overwhelming need to vent about it before you destroyed something? Well, hell, of course you did! It's human nature's way. The mental health establishment as well as the laws of physics dictate that venting is necessary. Without it, all that internal simmering can lead to one big build-up of pressure. And then? POW, the lid blows off the pot. Even if it doesn't, whatever is inside turns to mush. Do you honestly relish the thought of holding it all in?
So I feel perfectly justified in bitching about the fascists over at MySpace who are disabling everybody's links, the snow that just keeps falling despite the fact it's almost April, and every asshat I have the misfortune to cross paths with. Because it's far better to do this once is a while: