Saturday, November 06, 2010

Words You Need to Know

The august Washington Post runs a weekly feature known as the Style Invitational, in which readers are given a chance to do clever things with words. (Click on post title to see some recent contests.) I found one from 2003 that involved altering words by one letter and assigning them new definitions.

I like these very much. :-)

  • Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to begin with.
  • Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  • Foreploy: Any misrepresentation of yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
  • Giraffiti: Vandalism painted very, very high.
  • Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  • Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  • Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
  • Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
  • Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.
  • Glibido: All talk and no action.
  • Dopeer Effect: The tendency for stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. [Lookin' at you, Glenn Beck.]

And the winner --

  • Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.


Tam said...

Ha! Those are great. I liked the winner very much and reintarnation.

Chris said...

I think Sarchasm is my favorite. :)

K. Z. Snow said...

Those are a couple of my favorites too. :-D

Katrina Strauss said...

LOL, particularly foreploy!!

wren boudreau said...

Hipatitis. I haz it.

Or maybe it's just Osteopornosis.

Either way, it's all good :D

K. Z. Snow said...

Glad you chickies liked 'em!

Pat Myers said...

Actually, most of these are from a Style Invitational contest from 1998 (not "ignoranus" -- someone added that as it was passed around over the years). But much better to see the current contest: There's a new one every week at -- hope you become regular readers or even regular entrants!

The Empress of The Style Invitational
The Washington Post

K. Z. Snow said...

Hello, Pat, and welcome to my humble blog. What an honor to meet the Empress herself.

Thank you for the corrections. I, too, hope readers click on the title of this post to read more about the Style Invitational. This feature gives me a glimmer of hope that people who are both smart and possessed of a sense of humor haven't become an endangered species in this country.

wren boudreau said...

OMGKZ! You are moving up in the world!

wren boudreau said...

WTFKZ? I think not. You got a visit from the Empress. The Washington Post.

Oh. Unless this is a usual occurrence for you. I bet she calls you all the time.

K. Z. Snow said...

OMFGAWB. You're confusing this one-time visitor with Mrs. Obama. She's the one who calls all the time.

I'll probably end up in some federal pen for divulging that. But -- huzzah! -- we just happen to have one in this county. So at least I'll get some visitors, even if they're from the low-places pool in which I'm used to swimming. Or treading water.

wren boudreau said...

I hear they don't let you have much interwebz access in those places.

K. Z. Snow said...

Maybe a foil pyramid hat would preclude the need for Internet access.

Yup, I'm pretty sure it would.

wren boudreau said...


U R always thinkin'.

Chris said...

You two worry me sometimes.

wren boudreau said...

That is so sweet of you to say, Chris! But really, nothing to worry ... wait, I think I'm tuning something in on my foil hat. Gotta run!

K. Z. Snow said...

"You two worry me sometimes."

And this is coming from a woman who lives with two talking cats.

(Wren, I thing you need to crimp that peak just a hair.)

wren boudreau said...

Re: Chris. She also has a tendency to go bumpity in the night over at Goodreads. Glass houses and all that.

I slept in the damn hat. Now I have to start over.