Monday, February 28, 2011

What I Learned from the Academy Awards

Or Knew but Had Forgotten:

  • I love Tim Gunn.  Still.
  • Keith Urban is a short shit!
  • James Franco sucks as a host, but I'm willing to overlook that.
  • Anne Hathaway embodies every chick-lit heroine ever created, and I'm not willing to overlook that.
  • Kirk Douglas is cooler now than he ever was before.
  • This is what passes for a profound statement in Hollywood: "You know a screenplay is good when the writer's words float through your mind and go straight to your heart."
  • Jake Gyllenhaal doesn't seem nearly as hot as he did in Brokeback Mountain, although I still say he's gay.
  • Billy Crystal needs a hairdresser who doesn't make the back of his head look flat, and a writer who doesn't make him seem like a throwback to Borscht Belt comedians.
  • Gwyneth Paltrow=>authentic country singer; K.Z. Snow=>authentic gay author.
  • I like Randy Newman.  Still.
  • One of my favorite songs has always been Lena Horne's "Stormy Weather."
  • Oprah's fame+money combo is apparently a Golden Ticket to many elite places.  I'm surprised she didn't show up with Donald Trump.
  • I wish I had Annette Bening's face.  (She can keep Warren Beatty, though.)
  • I wish I had Celine Dion's voice.
  • I wish I could think on my feet, and in a dress, as well as Sandra Bullock.
  • According to the director of The King's Speech, there is such a thing as "a triangle of man love."  (But then we already knew that, didn't we?)
  • Colin Firth is funny.
  • I'm sick of seeing Steven Spielberg (and still hate E.T.)
  • From the Best Picture montage: I love the second or allegretto movement of Beethoven's Symphony No. 7, my favorite of all his symphonies. It makes my skin shiver over my muscles and my muscles shiver over my bones.
  • On a related note, it brought these terms to mind: exposition, development, recapitulation. (Sorry, but I've been a classical music slut since fifth grade!)
  • I just pissed away a few hours of my life. 


Tam said...

You are profound, also psychic because you pretty much summed up my feelings.

Did you see that interview backstage with James Franco before it started. Oh. My. God. Totally awkward. I didn't know who to feel sorry for, the lame chick interviewing or him. It was just awful. Okay, she was awful. Oh and I wasn't thrilled with dragging out Kirk Douglas and having to sit through that.

Some nice clothes (that's why I watch) except for Cate Blanchet. Think she's classy and had on her homage to quirky costume designers through the centuries. On the whole I wasn't overly impressed with much of it. Kind of average. But what did I expect really? b

K. Z. Snow said...

Franco's high point was coming out in full drag -- poor guy. Yeah, that pre-show interview with him pretty much foreshadowed what was to come. Ouch.

I don't know why I watched. Because it was Sunday night, I guess, and I didn't feel like doing anything more ambitious. When am I gonna learn?

Kris said...

There's this saying about 'dogs' and 'ticks'...

I'll remember it soon...

K. Z. Snow said...

I sure as hell hope so, because I collect sayings about dogs and ticks. o_O