With a new release imminent, as well as a "special" appearance
(meaning, there was a time slot open April 30)
on Dreamspinners' Goodreads group, I can't help but wonder
how books must feel once they're out in the GR world.
Here's how I imagine an illustrated autobookography would look.
CHAPTER I
Woohoo, I'm free!
And I'm closer to 5 than to 4!
And I'm closer to 5 than to 4!
The first people who read me really liked me.
Gosh, appreciation is the best high. Maybe I am good!
CHAPTER II
Okay, can't float above 4.5 forever.
Well, not most of us, anyway.
But I'm doing okay; I'm still in the race, holding my own!
Well, not most of us, anyway.
But I'm doing okay; I'm still in the race, holding my own!
CHAPTER III
Uh-oh. I'm mighty close to that 4 mark.
Nobody's interested in a book that drops below a 4.
Where's all this negativity coming from? It's weighing me down!
Nobody's interested in a book that drops below a 4.
Where's all this negativity coming from? It's weighing me down!
CHAPTER IV
Oh, shit. The nay-sayers' boat has rolled over me!
I'm sinking, sinking . . .
*bbbllllbbbblblblbbbllllbll*
I'm sinking, sinking . . .
*bbbllllbbbblblblbbbllllbll*
CHAPTER V
But here's my dad, the author!
We're not going down without making a statement.
We've had it. Fuck y'all with your 1 and 2 stars
and the woodwork you crawled out of!
Who the hell are you, anyway?
Wait, we really don't care. You're goin' down!
We're not going down without making a statement.
We've had it. Fuck y'all with your 1 and 2 stars
and the woodwork you crawled out of!
Who the hell are you, anyway?
Wait, we really don't care. You're goin' down!
© 2011, 91.7 % of the Books on Goodreads
25 comments:
Ha, ha! Too funny, KZ. Especially the graphic images, and most especially that last one (my dad, the author, *snort*)! Thanks for sharing. :D
I love that last bit, too:
© 2011, 91.7 % of the Books on Goodreads
What I'm doing is procrastinating, Val. My WIP is giving me fits!
Sometimes doing creatively silly blog posts can help get the juices flowing. :)
BTW, I hope Ink Illusions (coming out April 24, correct?) doesn't have to endure this journey!
Ha! That's great. You're so creative and funny.
LOL! Now I have this song stuck in my head: "Save my life, I'm going down for the last time..."
KZ's my name; creativity's my game.
:-D
Appropriate song, Chris. Heh. (Actually, it's not so funny when authors start getting severely neurotic.)
Hey, guess what? We're getting 6-8" of snow today and tomorrow! (Yes, another one of those "bands" that so loves touring this part of the country.) How much luckier can we get? I'm starting to think that single 80-degree day was our summer, and we're back to winter again.
We're supposed to get 2-4", starting this afternoon. *sigh*
She's a-comin' down already, girl. I can almost see the "WTF?" thought bubbles above the dogs' heads when they go outside.
BTW, I hope Ink Illusions (coming out April 24, correct?) doesn't have to endure this journey!
Me, too, but it will. That's a given. I've already seen it happen. April 24 is correct.
And the bands of snow? Eeek. Makes me glad I live in the southwest even if we do have large desert arthropods out here. I'll grudgingly choose them over the long winters!
"Me, too, but it will. That's a given. I've already seen it happen."
I have too, Val. Strange phenomenon, isn't it? Except for that handful of authors who seemed blessed with immunity from criticism, books' ratings invariably sink over time. I'm not sure why that is.
"...large desert arthropods..."
O_O
Do they inflict pain? Are they poisonous? Crawlies don't generally bother me unless they do one or both of the above.
LOL because it's oh so true!!!
I've found that as the number of ratings increases, the average bumps up and down until settling in the middle. Popular bestsellers and the good ol' classics rate an average 3.5 on Goodreads. My own GR rating just dropped down into what I would have once viewed as a shitty number. But I've got a lot more ratings on there than I used to, too, so I actually view this as progress. Man, I've come along way... even a year ago I would've cried over it. LOL Now I know that it's the law of averages! :D
Honestly, Kitty, I had to stop checking my book pages because it seemed a title could go from a 4.65 one day to a 4.16 the next. I don't know if the damned numbers ever settle down. That's why avoidance seems the best policy. :)
I think the reason it gradually goes down is that at first the keeners read it. Those who love the author or the sub-genre, and they are eager and likely to give it a good rating.
Then the people who were kind of meh about the whole concept (bad experience with the author's work or really don't like that subgenre that much) read it and give it a little less enthusiastic rating.
Then the people who hated it finally come out because they've been sitting on the rating not wanting to offend, or not sure how to say "this sucked", or those who bought but had buyers remorse finally read it or DNF it, and because they knew it wasn't for them it's bound to get a low rating.
I'm always much more eager to throw my 4 star reads into the mix and tell everyone how great it is, than figure out how to tactfully say something was a stinker for me. I don't rate DNF. I figure it's not really fair if I don't read the whole book and it's usually not a DNF because the book sucks, but because for some abstract reason it's just not working for me. I also think once a few low ratings show up, the shy people are quicker to come out and say "me too". Before that you start to think you are some kind of freak because you didn't love a book that everyone else did.
Word veri: kinks (yay!)
Tam: Don't forget the people who have it in their TBR for awhile. ;)
LOL! I read this in a half awake bleary state this morning but still managed to laugh out loud and scare the kitties.
Ironic but also strangely true, as is what Tam said. The first ones to read any book are either reviewers who don't give a grade until the review is posted or fans of the author who can't wait to get their hands on the book and read it.
Sorry to hear the WIP is misbehaving. Perhaps a turn in the dungeon will make it more compliant?
BTW meant to say that England is experiencing unusual seasonal highs at the moment. I've been walking round in a t-shirt which is entirely unheard of for April in Northern England.
You see, it all balances out: v cold where you are; hot where I am. Thanks for that :).
Good theory, Tam, but it begs the question, then why isn't this the fate of all the titles on GR? I've seen some thoroughly unimpressive books hang on to their ratings.
As I told Katrina, writers should probably steer clear of their own titles on GR if they want to maintain their sanity. ;-)
Well, Jen, at least we have the illusion of summertime with this snowstorm. It's come with thunder.
The WIP is chugging forward again. Good thing, since we don't even have a basement, much less a dungeon! :)
So that's what's going through a book's mind when I read it.
Good to know.
I would think it's because the smart people stay away from those books leaving only the fans to squee over them. It's a theory. Or in some cases the fear over giving a low rating and the ensuing backlash means you just skip it. Or there is no logic in the universe.
I'm leaning toward the third option.
Yes, Kris, that's what they're going through. I interviewed a variety of books in all genres and found their experiences and reactions surprisingly similar.
It's their moms and dads you have to look out for, though. 'Cause, like, books don't have fingers.
There's no figuring it out, Tam. After seeing so much excellent fiction and nonfiction get nitpicked and so much pap for the masses get praised to the skies, I just gave up trying to understand.
KZ ~ I've learned I can best handle it if 1) I only check GR once a month or so and 2) I only look at ratings/reviews on older titles that I'm now more objectively detached from. At least this is what I've learned in theory. ;)
Y'know, Kitty, that's a good idea. Our conviction of our new releases' "brilliance" makes us hypersensitive. But that sensitivity fades over time.
Often, the conviction does too.
;-)
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