Friday, April 15, 2011

Asspressions & Acronyms

Sorry, but this is all I've got for you.

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) money coming out of his ass

(_?_) dumb ass
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Dear Employees:

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 45 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aging Personnel Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible
for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice, and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or
SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can absorb.

~ The Management


Tam said...

Cute. Mine is definitely tired tonight. Have a great weekend.

Chris said...

LOL! Tired here, too. And not enjoying the gale force winds, rain, or possible snow. Bah.

K. Z. Snow said...

Jeez, you guys, I didn't even have a chance to finesse the formatting!

You have a good weekend too, Tam.

Gah, Chris, no kidding. Gale-force winds is right, and I have no idea what exactly is coming out of the sky. Part rain, part ice, part snow, and all cold and sloppy. YECH. Poor dogs are afraid of squatting for fear of being blown over while they're being pelted.

Lily said...

Funny! Mine is definitely tired at this moment.

K.Z. and Chris, hope your weather improves soon!

K. Z. Snow said...

Mine's dragging too, Lily.

Boy, spring just doesn't want to get here and stay a while -- like, until summer. :-/