Alert No. 1 ~ "OMM isn't going anywhere so
we need your help! Occasionally we will be on break to do a clean sweep of
negative comments. As you can see many bigoted minded liberals who hate
Christians because of our faith are spamming our facebook page. . . . Please help us by reporting these comments, and
understanding that we will not be able to delete them all. You can also help by
showing these lost, narrow minded liberal the true love of Jesus Christ. Thank
you!" ['Cause, you know, deleting those comments is what Jesus would do. I even asked him just to make sure.]
Alert No. 2 ~ "Recently Macy's Department store mailed its
newest catalogue out to many Americans. In the hopes of making sales, instead
they offended many customers in the process. The back cover looks like just a
regular advertisement for their wedding registry service, but there is one
major difference. When you take a closer look you see the cake topper of two
men instead of the traditional man and woman. The ad also includes a license
plate that reads "I do" and hearts scattered everywhere. . . . This is inappropriate marketing . . ." [Goes without saying. Everybody knows Macy's has no gay customers. I even asked them just to make sure.]
Alert No. 3 ~ "The separation between church and state is called the rapture." [I even asked the Divine Rapture Committee just to make sure.]
Finally, let us not forget to "SAY NO TO GIRL SCOUT
COOKIES" and to CONGRATULATE HOME DEPOT for "silently dropping public support for the homosexual agenda."
WTG, OMM! We'll turn those bigots around yet!
11 comments:
I am still blinking over Alert #3...
I really wish the rapture had come last October, we'd be rid of these people. Oh wait, God didn't want them either. Duh.
I bet they all have a copy of this book. (friend of a friend saw it in an airport bookstore) I say any parent who at point hasn't considered handing over their kid to him is lying.
Those chicks are crazy and need to focus on doing laundry and making cookies rather than worrying about what everyone else is doing in bed.
Chris, it makes perfect sense. The "state" (government) are the bad guys and the "church" (fundies) are the good guys and the Rapture will separate them once and for all. Yeah, baby!
But Tam, they HAVE TO worry about that stuff. It's their mission. Shucks, if they don't battle the Gay Agenda, who will? If even the Girl Scouts and Home Depot and J.C. Penney and just about every television show have been influenced by the G. A., our whole way of life is threatened! (Can't you hear the sound of families crumbling around you?)
We're already living in the hell fires up here in the north with that whole pesky marriage for anyone stupid enough to give it a whirl thing. So I can't hear them over the crackling of the flames and the screaming of the tortured souls. Oh wait, that's just a Flo Rida song. I'll turn it down. My bad.
Whoa. Alert #3 I thought was you, KZ, making it up. You know, satire for our amusement? And then Chris's comment made me realize they said it. One million of them? Holy [expletive]! Are we headed for a fundamentalist theocracy? (Don't they, as women, realize how bad that would be for women in general?) Holy [stronger expletive]! Something new to worry about! :D
I think they are mathematically challenged Val. There only seemed to 40,000 of them on FB, so that's less than 10,000 per state, which in a state like California is one person per town. LOL They're not exactly an ovwhelming force to be reckoned with, although they manage to get enough media coverage.
They're probably working from A Handmaid's Tale and thinking what a great way to live that would be...
I think they are mathematically challenged Val. There only seemed to 40,000 of them on FB, so that's less than 10,000 per state, which in a state like California is one person per town. LOL
Tam, that's so rational! I love it. It's exactly what my husband likes to do -- work out the actual math right there on the spot to see what's really going on.
Chris, I remember The Handmaid's Tale. Our heroine sleeping with the enemy and collaborating with the theocracy all so she can get some hand lotion, which is apparently in short supply in that world. I mean, OMG!
"Are we headed for a fundamentalist theocracy?"
We'll see how the presidential election goes, Val. My one and only (poor, ancient, neglected) Samhain novel, Acts of the Saints, is about that.
But Tam, what's scary is there are probably WAY more than a million like-minded people in this country. It seems all the Republican candidates have been scrambling to appeal to the religious right. And woe is us if one of them wins in November.
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