Alert No. 1 ~ "OMM isn't going anywhere so we need your help! Occasionally we will be on break to do a clean sweep of negative comments. As you can see many bigoted minded liberals who hate Christians because of our faith are spamming our facebook page. . . . Please help us by reporting these comments, and understanding that we will not be able to delete them all. You can also help by showing these lost, narrow minded liberal the true love of Jesus Christ. Thank you!" ['Cause, you know, deleting those comments is what Jesus would do. I even asked him just to make sure.]
Alert No. 2 ~ "Recently Macy's Department store mailed its newest catalogue out to many Americans. In the hopes of making sales, instead they offended many customers in the process. The back cover looks like just a regular advertisement for their wedding registry service, but there is one major difference. When you take a closer look you see the cake topper of two men instead of the traditional man and woman. The ad also includes a license plate that reads "I do" and hearts scattered everywhere. . . . This is inappropriate marketing . . ." [Goes without saying. Everybody knows Macy's has no gay customers. I even asked them just to make sure.]
Alert No. 3 ~ "The separation between church and state is called the rapture." [I even asked the Divine Rapture Committee just to make sure.]
Finally, let us not forget to "SAY NO TO GIRL SCOUT COOKIES" and to CONGRATULATE HOME DEPOT for "silently dropping public support for the homosexual agenda."
WTG, OMM! We'll turn those bigots around yet!