Who said that?
I'll tell you later.
Now, who said the following?
1. Be yourself. Everybody else is already taken.
2. In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
3. (This one is from the "Duh, ya think so?" files.) Psychopaths have faulty brain connections, scientists find
4. I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with a lot of pleasure.
5. Good things come to those who find 'em and shove 'em in their mouth.
6. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
7. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
8. Most editors are failed writers -- but so are most writers.
9. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
10. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
11. Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important, physically, as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement.
12. Remember, if you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
Have a beer while you don't give these too much thought. Because "beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" (according to Benjamin Franklin, and I tend to agree).
1. Oscar Wilde
2. Mark Twain
3. Reuters news service, 08-07-09
4. Clarence Darrow
5. Templeton the Rat, Charlotte's Web
6. Humphrey Bogart
7. Harlan Ellison (classic sci fi author)
8. T. S. Eliot (no shit!)
9. Robert Bloch (author of Psycho, among many other works)
10. Henny Youngman (American comedian)
11. Charles Bukowski (American poet)
12. Woody Allen
The post title came from none other than Mark Twain, the source of some of my favorite lines EVER, and a far more salacious gent than most people realize.
Share some of your favorites!