Or, "What KZ Loves About Living in Wisconsin"
First, of course, there's this: ===============>
Just thought I'd get that out of the way before proceeding.
Lately, I've needed something to counteract the snoldrums (doldrums brought on by a superabundance of snow too early in the season), and I found it today on the local news.Santa Claus got a makeover! Thanks to Sarah Kaufman, a most talented cheese carver, the Jolly Old Elf has been rendered in golden, aromatic detail from a 640-lb. block of cheddar. He's currently spreading his joy at a Milwaukee-area supermarket.
Muppets, make way for Uncle Mike! Decked out in Lederhosen and toting an accordion, this middle-aged
pedophile dork gentleman uses polka music to teach children about hygiene, among other things. (Yes, hygiene; that's what he said.) Why wasn't he around when I was growing up? I love polkas! I so would've paid attention.
So here, just for YOU, is Uncle Mike and his sidekick, Lumberjack Doug, teaching children "what it's really like to be a lumberjack" via the "Jolly Lumberjack Polka." (Damn, I didn't know a lumberjack could cut down a massive, ancient oak with a crosscut handsaw. Those are some badass dudes! But don't you kind of like it when he shows his vulnerable side -- I think you know which side I mean -- and falls down on his knees? Then bounces back up with a big ol' smile on his face?