Update: The Book Nobody Wants

Do NOT follow this cliched advice: "Write what you love." Well, go ahead and follow it if you must, but don't expect to get published.

Poor, uncategorizable InDescent is still making the rounds and bouncing off pigeonholes into which it just can't fit. This hybrid urban fantasy/journey of self-discovery/m-m erotic romance has no niche!

Objection #1 - The villain isn't villainous enough. (Uh...that's because he isn't a villain. A wannabe villain--yes. A little bit of a prod, an antagonist, a foil--maybe. Primarily, though, this superficial, self-centered doofus serves, through contrast, to highlight the essential albeit flawed nobility of the protagonist and his lover. If the book has a villain, it lurks within the hero's internal landscape. In other words, he's his own worst enemy...and must come to realize that.)

Objection #2 - The "love interest" doesn't appear until halfway through the story. (Not entirely true. He isn't part of the on-scene action, although his presence is felt nearly from the start. When he does show up in person, things really start getting intense.)

Ah, well. I never bothered actually responding to these objections. There's no battling publishers' models or genre norms, and there's no point in trying. I learned that a long time ago. All one can do is swallow and move on.

So just bear in mind when you write what you love that it may not fit current fiction formulas. Be prepared to put on your patience-pants.

Wing and Tongue cover scores again!

I'll tell ya, that Syneca really puts out some impressive work. The Fantasm Awards finalists for fantasy/paranormal cover art are now posted. It isn't a surprise that my luminous cover for Wing and Tongue (from Ellora's Cave) is one of the nominees. It's already received one award, and deservedly so. I'm still bemoaning the fact Syneca didn't do the covers for the other two books in this fantasy cycle.

And this brings up the interesting point of a cover's role in a book's saleability. There's no doubt in my mind that the quality of cover art makes a difference.

I've posted before about the success of Wing and Tongue in relation to Cauldron of Keridwen and Prince of Glacier Glas. The last of these is, I believe, the best book by far in the Galdeshian fantasy cycle, and I wanted the cover to reflect that.

So I specifically requested art similar to Syneca's. I was presented with a cover that was kinda-sorta like hers but just didn't have the GASP! quality -- the brilliance, the finesse. When I asked the art director for some minor touch-ups and polish, he pretty much blew me off.

It rankles to this day.

Anyway, if you're a fan of Syneca's craftsmanship, please click on the post title and give her work a vote. Not my work, mind you; hers.

Award nominations ~ what are they about?

Last night, I got an impersonal email from The Romance Studio informing me that one of my books was a CAPA nominee. They didn't mention the title of the work in their email; I had to go to the TRS site, find the CAPA page, then scroll down the long, long list of nominees and search for one of my titles. Damned if I knew what book they were referring to, because TRS hardly ever reviews my stuff.

There it was, near the bottom of the page in the "Psyche" category: Cheer Givers & Mischief Makers. Huh? This Quickie was first published two years ago, as part of the "Valentine Vixens" series for Ellora's Cave. Truth be told, I'd pretty much forgotten about it. But because TRS didn't review the story until May of 2008, it apparently was eligible for a Psyche award this year. I was flabbergasted . . . and not in a particularly good way.

There are probably fifty titles, give or take, in the Psyche Award category. It's a big ol' catch-all stewpot of romance fiction, from shorts to full novels to anthologies to at least one series, in every imaginable subgenre, by big names and no-names. A HUGE ol' stewpot.

It took me a while to figure out what these disparate works had in common. Twenty minutes later, light dawned. They all received five stars from TRS reviewers but were actually published long before they were reviewed. So, rather than put them in the running for Da Major Award (which is only for books published and reviewed in the past year), they were all dumped into Da Minor Award category. Together.

So I'm looking at the nominees. And I'm thinking, WTF? There's no division here. My fluffy little Quickie is up against the likes of Shiloh Walker and the freakin' Adrien English mystery series! Okay, let me go smoke something until this makes sense.

If Valentine's Day weren't right around the corner, I would've been too ashamed to post an excerpt at TRS, which I was requested to do. Even with Valentine's Day coming, I balked at the thought. CGMM is an enjoyable bit of smut based on an original concept but hardly my best work. Were it up against other enjoyable bits of smut, I wouldn't care. I'd even pimp my bit of smut. Hell, I'd root for my bit of smut!

But this contest? This is just plain humiliating.

I would've been more than content with, and grateful for, that very nice review.

The Art of the Succinct Reply

My pal, Ho Lee Zhit, recently groaned while reading a blog post somewhere, "Oh, no. Another 400-pound diva has entered the room!" When I asked for an explanation, Ho Lee remarked that people seem to take themselves (and their pursuits, which they consider an integral part of themselves) very seriously these days, and there's increasing evidence of this on blogs.

So I did a little investigating. Sure enough, I found a plethora of long rants, sniperish bursts, skirmishes, excruciating examinations, analyses, and justifications, and just generally enough hot-air huffing and puffing to contribute to global warming -- if, that is, it were coming out of mouths instead of fingertips.

Umbrage, umbrage everywhere.

Posters, I realized, could easily and effectively make their points with far less expenditure of energy. In the interest of lower blood pressure and unstressed attention spans, I compiled a list of succinct replies to Internet statements that people -- and authors, in particular -- seem to find irritating.

* "Your book sucks."
* "Take it up with God. S/he dictated it; I'm just a stenographer trying to get by on a lousy $125.44 a week."

* "Your book's title sucks."
* "If all you can manage to get through is a book's title, you might consider enrolling in a remedial reading course."

* "Your book's cover sucks."
* "If all you can manage to do is look at pictures, you might consider giving up reading as a hobby."

* "All romance novels are crap."
* "Of course they are. That's why people read them. Life is so unrelentingly fine, we must escape its cloying clutches now and then lest we get spoiled."

* "You're not gay."
* "Yes, I am. And proud of it. If you don't believe me, go fuck yourself. Or Ted Haggard."

* "You're not straight."
* "Yes, I am. I just wish I were gay."

* "You're not bi."
* "Well . . . sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not. It depends on who's sitting next to me at bar close."

* "What you said is offensive."
* "It offends me that you called my statement offensive. I refuse to type another word until you apologize."

Ho Lee Zhit approved of these, saying, "Yep. A hint of diva is better than the whole smelly, vermin-picking gorilla."

Time to Thank Some Nice People

I've been meaning to do this for a while, but the holiday season has been so stuffed with contests, and just plain stuffed with holiday stuff, that I had to hold off.

I'm not on too many people's radar in the romance or e-book communities. It's understandable. I do a lot of genre-hopping (the curse of a restless imagination), have never developed a series (until recently, for Loose Id), don't have anything in print (aside from Acts of the Saints, which is hardly a happy-happy novel and doesn't fit comfortably into any niche), don't attend conventions, am not part of a group blog or any kind of network, still can't afford a website, and generally suck at schmoozing and self-promotion. That's why, on those rare occasions when somebody does pick me out of the crowd, I'm touched and grateful beyond measure.

So deep, deep thanks to CLARE LONDON, the Dark Pearl Diva whose site is my Links section, for taking the time to send me heartening feedback on Looking for Some Touch. And JEANNE BARRACK, who found me after the release of Plagued (and immediately "got" the hero's name!) She'll be guest-blogging for me after the holidays.

More thanks to author SAGE WHISTLER, who chose Looking for Some Touch as one of her favorite reads of the past month, and RAINE at Joyfully Reviewed, whose enthusiasm for my books has been encouraging and heartwarming. Then there's VICKI, without a doubt the most supportive editor I've ever had.

Last but far from least, I'm enormously grateful to my readers, however silent they may be. And thanks to those of you who've taken the time to enrich this blog with thoughtful and thought-provoking comments.

I wish you all the very best in 2009.

Thanks again, JOYFULLY REVIEWED!

Raine at Joyfully Reviewed has graciously designated my Ellora's Cave fantasy, Prince of Glacier Glas, a Recommended Read. Thanks so much, Raine, for this and past reviews.

JR has also given me the "big pink button" (way better than the big pink finger) for Wing and Tongue, which is the first book in this fantasy cycle, as well as Cemetery Dancer (a paranormal from EC), Obsessed (m/m erotic romance from Changeling Press), and Two Out of Three Ain't Bad (a contemporary romance from Cerridwen Press).

How can I not love these people?

"This is bad!" I heaved.

EDITED TO ADD: I have another post, from June 14 of this year and also tagged "language," about dialogue itself--in this case, sex-scene dialogue, which people actually wrote. Really, truly, actually wrote.

My previous blog was, in part, about winning a book when you don't get to choose the book you want to win. Oh, my. I was recently the recipient of a historical romance, issued this year by a major print publisher. Not only was it riddled with anachronisms (e.g., yuk, as an exclamation of disgust; two cents' worth; the last straw), it had the most stupendous, dizzying array of dialogue tags I've ever, EVER seen between two covers, paper or electronic.

What I found most annoying was how seldom characters "asked." Almost invariably, they "queried."

Where have all the good editors gone? Into e-publishing?

As you peruse the list below, keep in mind that each of these words was used as an indicator of a character speaking (like the way I used one of them in my post title). I kid you not. Comma, end quote, tag -- in that order. Many were followed by some rip-roaring adverbs, too, which put extra kinks in my occipital cortex and temporal lobe.

I have to confess I've employed many of these tags myself. Most authors have. "She asked" and "he answered" and "she said" don't go far in the descriptive department. Said-said-said can also wear on a reader's nerves. But . . . but . . .

Well, just check out the list. I doubt it's complete; I surely missed some because, frankly, I did have better things to do. By the way, I didn't bother jotting down the more common and acceptable tags, like "whispered," "murmured," and "replied."

Fellow e-authors: hold your heads high! Keep in mind this attractive trade paperback came from a big, snazzy New York house. Now go get a supersized beverage and settle in.

acquiesced
admonished
advised
affirmed
agreed
announced
apologized
applauded
averred
barked
beckoned
bellowed
beseeched
bit out
blazed
boomed
breathed
cajoled
called
ceded
chastised
chided
chimed in
choked out
chortled
chuckled
commented
concurred
confirmed
continued
corrected
countered
cut in
declared
demanded
denied
derided
elaborated
encouraged
enjoined
exclaimed
explained
exploded
expostulated (Wow!)
faltered
fired back
gasped
greeted
growled
grumbled
heaved
hesitated
hissed
imparted
implored
inquired
insisted
interjected
interrupted
invited
maintained
mewled
mimicked
mused
needled
nodded
offered
ordered
panted
persisted
petitioned
placated
praised
pressed
pressed again
probed
proceeded
prodded
promised
protested
pronounced
purred
pursued
queried
questioned
reasoned
refuted
reiterated
rejoined
remarked
reproved
responded
returned
roared
scoffed
shrugged
sighed
smiled
snarled
sneered
snorted
sobbed
spat
sputtered
stammered
stated
swore
supplied
taunted
tried to agree
vowed
warned
whimpered
yawned

Contest Conundrums

Aside from being a wonderful word you won't likely see in text messages (and that alone is reason enough to make it a wonderful word), a conundrum is often what I face whenever I consider either entering a contest or running one.

Entering Contests. I don't have too much time to enter contests, unless it's quick 'n' easy to throw my name into the hat and/or I really want to win a particular prize. Often, contests just end up pissing me off . . . or making me feel guilty.

That mess now being run at Samhain seriously pissed me off. One day, when I was between chapters of my WIP, I thought I'd give it a go. Shit almighty.

I ended up feeling like the victim of a fraternity hazing. This is supposed to be fun? I kept asking myself as I trolled through fifty effing websites, looking for a certain icon. Worse yet, whenever I found that icon, I usually couldn't read whatever damned title was printed on it!

It was definintely not fun. In fact, it put me in a boycott mood. Before I knew it, I'd wasted many irreplaceable hours and darkened my sunny disposition.

Authors who are cunningly manipulative -- i.e., bury their clues or answers in the bowels of their sites and make entrants click . . . and click . . . and click through endless book lists, blurbs, excerpts, buy links, testimonials, photos, buddy links, blog posts, chuggedychuggedychug -- are not doing themselves any favors. I assume they figure that by trapping entrants within their online labyrinths, said entrants will gobble every word on every page and salivate over covers and be swept into the Land of Awe by that parade of "4" and "5" reviews. NOT. The inconsiderate assumption that readers have nothing better to do with their time than spend it spelunking through linked caverns of self-promotion is, purely and simply, offensive.

Lesson: From now on, as soon as I see a "Scavenger Hunt" that will make me feel like I'm Dumpster diving, I'm gone.

Winning Contests. Over the years, I've won maybe four book giveaways. Total. Only one win, Blind Eye's Tangle anthology, made me sing "Celebration Time." The other three titles weren't of my choosing but were picked -- randomly, I assume -- from groups of books being offered in mass giveaways. (You know how that goes.)

When I have no interest whatsoever in the title I end up with . . . my heart, it sinketh. I always feel obligated to try reading my prize. The least I can do is give it a chance. But I'll tell ya, I've ended up with three stinkers out of four wins, and not being able to get through even the first chapter of a book fills me with guilt.

Lesson: No more entering giveaways unless they're for titles that have piqued my interest or by authors I know are good.

Running Contests. Almost invariably, this is a depressing exercise. I've been doing it on and off for several years now, usually on my publishers' chat loops but sometimes in other places (e.g., TRS, various Yahoo groups, and the like). Two of the three books I've offered through The Romance Studio's Book-a-Day Giveaway were never claimed, even after I sent the wieners big ol' upbeat congratulatory messages. And never once has any winner through any venue emailed me with any kind of feedback -- good, bad, or indifferent. I feel as if I've shot these downloads into black holes.

Lesson: As yet undetermined.

For Your Holiday Pleasure

I'll be guest blogging December 5 at Jenyfer Matthews' place. Jen's a fellow Cerridwen Press author. I've published three contemporary romances through Cerridwen, so, given the time of year, I decided to focus on Mrs. Claws, a romantic comedy that touches on some serious (hell, even philosophical) issues.

Mrs. Claws isn't about glamorous people. No billionaire sheiks or rock stars. It's just a very romantic, funny, and (I believe) thoughtful story about an ordinary woman's attempt to overcome the holiday blues.

For what it's worth, this novel received five angels from Fallen Angel Reviews and five blue ribbons from Romance Junkies. Please join me! (Click on the post title to find Jen's blog.)

The World of Utopia-X

The Utopian Metroplex of Regenerie, at the center of my Loose Id novel Looking for Some Touch, is the hub of the Utopia-X series. It's one of many urban centers established in the wake of a global catastrophe known as the Great Event or, by people who don't like to mince words, the Darkening. (The nature of this cataclysm will be revealed in the third book of the series.) Each metroplex is a sovereign city-state, an autonomous entity, and nominally defines itself through its primary product(s) or services.

Thus, Regenerie takes pride in being a clean, green, progressive metroplex, a model of humanitarianism and environmentalism. Its most important export is energy, entirely derived from renewable sources. "Living" medical products (e.g., laboratory-grown organs for transplant) run a close second. Regenerie's closest neighbor, the Iron Metroplex of Villius, is quite different -- a grim, dirty, rough-around-the-edges mining center. Villius figures prominently in Book Two, Seeking Something Wicked, coming February 24 from Loose Id. Perhaps the strangest metroplex of all, the Pleasureplex of Xanandru, will take center stage in Book Three.

Between these city-states are vast and largely undeveloped wilderness regions called Interzones. Humans and Otherbeings who dislike urban bustle have gravitated to these expanses, which aren't under the jurisdiction of any government. Interzone denizens live either in small settlements or isolated dwellings. Not many highways cross interzonal areas. Vehicular traffic is mostly restricted to the metroplexes; interurban travel and commerce take place via sophisticated air and water craft and high-speed, often elevated trains. More radical modes of transportation are on the horizon, thanks to the efforts of scientists and engineers in Specula and Venturus.

Aside from its political organization and advanced technology, this future world isn't terribly different from the world in which we live. After all, it has its roots in the 21st century, when the Great Event took place. Enough people, materials, and documents survived to allow civilization to pick up -- with great effort, of course -- where it left off. Languages, scientific knowledge, religious beliefs, cultural practices, and other 21st-century systems and paradigms were preserved and passed on by the planet's surviving inhabitants. Larger, more mysterious forces, working behind the scenes, were also at play in global renewal. They, too, will be discussed in upcoming books.

The series name, Utopia-X, is a kind of condensed commentary on the often misplaced optimism and enthusiasm that infect this brave new world and Regenerie in particular. The main characters in Looking for Some Touch will continue to discover that the quirkiness of thinking creatures, whether human or nonhuman, has a way of undermining the loftiest visions and best-laid plans for a perfect society . . . and a perfect self.

My next post will be on the unique beings known as hybrids and their role in Utopia-X.

Tribes

The longer I'm in this business, the more tribal the writing community seems. I don't yet belong to a tribe. I'm the Happy Wanderer (or, sometimes, not so happy). Occasionally, temporarily, I sneak into tribes. Usually, though, I just circle around or amble past them.

So what constitutes a tribe? A group of writers and/or readers who are bound by a common interest or faithful to a particular leader. (Tribes have a lot in common with high school cliques, it seems.)

There are likely tribes within RWA--frequently warring tribes, no doubt. An entire stable of authors at a particular publishing house can be a tribe if that publisher is small enough. If a publisher is larger, there are tribes within it (like writers who band together to form group blogs or critique circles, or authors who've been with a company since its inception and are the revered "veterans"). Individual authors can have their own tribes, and industry bloggers have tribes of supporters and tribes of detractors. Subgenres are also spawning grounds for tribes.

It isn't easy to break into many of these close-knit communities. In fact, sometimes it's impossible. But if you want to be part of a tribe that does admit new members, you have to work at it -- earn your body art, so to speak. This is a delicate process. You can't just burst into a tribal council meeting and shout, "I want to be part of this tribe!" Oh no.

Every tribe has its own unique standards for acceptance. Maybe you have to be exceptionally sharp and witty. Or exceptionally level-headed, a natural mediator. Maybe you must demonstrate selflessness, or a happily blind devotion. Maybe you simply need to be docile but persistent. On the other hand, maybe you must shine, brilliantly and irresistibly. Sometimes, a limitless talent for schmoozing does the trick.

I've seen and read about such tribes in action, and their dynamic continues to mystify me. Maybe we writers (and some readers) are like clubby high schoolers, with our need for approbation and our silly sensibilities and our conviction of a superiority that never gets recognized quite enough. It's as if we're constantly crying, "Leave me alone to pursue my art!" -- and then, in a pathetic whimper, add, "But don't leave me alone too much for too long."